just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
