Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
