Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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