I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
