I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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