Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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