well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
