Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
