How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
