Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
