Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come on in and take your pants off
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