You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
