doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
