i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
