And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
