She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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