I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
