You're so nebulous sometimes
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
