why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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