Your dad touched me again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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