i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
whose parrot is this?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
