NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
