Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
