please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
