She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
