She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
