I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
