her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
