he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
