I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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