My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
