I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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