Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
