I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
