I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
