Princesses don't give blow jobs
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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