Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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