Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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