She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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