Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
