I can tuck mytits in my pants
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
ok first of all what the fuck
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
