but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
