Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
