There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
