i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
