He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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