I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
