Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
handjob tips. give me some.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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