I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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