hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
