He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They took my balls.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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