Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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